“Are you reeling in the years
Stowing away the time?”
–Steely Dan
Reeling: To go round and round in a whirling motion.
I had a dream last night that I was taking a class. I don’t know what it was but the professor had graded all of my posts. He gave each of them grades and commented in red in the margins. I was going through them all quickly looking for the “bad” grades and comments. The class was ending and the grades would be posted and I felt a desperation to defend my position for each “bad” grade. I had this pile of papers on my desk and I was rifling through them scanning the comments quickly. I just kept going through them over and over. I knew that I was dreaming but I didn’t want to wake up until I had solved the problem. Then I realized that it would be simpler just to wake up. So I did.
I’ve done that a lot. I’ll be having a nightmare. I’ll wake up and I have to go back to sleep until I can solve the nightmare. I’ve gone back to sleep many times during a nightmare trying to change it.
Blind man running
through the light
of the night
With an answer in his hand,
Come on down
to the river of sight
And you can really understand,
Red lights flashing
through the window
in the rain,
Can you hear the sirens moan?
White cane lying
in a gutter in the lane,
If you’re walking home alone.
Don’t let it bring you down
It’s only castles burning,
Just find someone who’s turning
And you will come around.
–Neil Young
The dream is real as real can be. Or is. Or is not. Can changing the dream make it any less real? Or not?
Stop reeling for a moment. Understand that you cannot change what is not there. That is stillness. Only in that stillness will you find peace.
