I watched football yesterday. I enjoy the game of football. I played it and I enjoy the battle and the strategy. I have a team. My team. No, I don’t own it. I don’t have any interest in the team per se I just picked it to be my team. So I do have some interest in the team because I chose to. My team was chosen on a regional basis. I grew up in the area and the team that represented that area just became my team. I know others that chose their teams for various reasons. It could have been because of past success. It could have been for past failure. Rooting for the underdog. (A view of yourself?) Maybe their was a certain player years ago that you identified with and you just started rooting for that team and never stopped. I know one person who chose their team because of the colors of the uniforms. Another because they liked the animal that the team chose as its mascot.
Some people become so attached to the team they chose, they refer to the team and themselves as we. Now that is really attachment!
My team didn’t play this weekend. So I watched other people’s teams play. I may tell you that it really doesn’t matter who wins because my team isn’t playing but if I really search hard I can find tell tale signs that I prefer one over the other. There are any number of reasons that I choose a particular team. It even could be because I dislike the other team for some reason. Maybe they beat my team and I would like them to take a beating in return. “There you go, take that! You deserved it!” It’s not my team playing so the outcome doesn’t really doesn’t trigger a huge emotional response. If the team I am rooting for wins I don’t run around slapping high fives with strangers nor do I get angry if the team I am rooting for looses. I may just have a mild feeling of disappointment.
So I just sit and watch and notice this feeling of disappointment or satisfaction as the game progresses. The score changes and my feelings change along with it. Up/ down, happy/ sad. I think, “Why do I feel this way?” I know that I have absolutely to control over the outcome. I could root harder. I could get on my knees in front of the TV cheering and yelling but is that going to change the outcome of a play? No. I have absolutely no control over the outcome. But I am still feeling these emotional changes all through the game. If my team is losing bad enough I may want to shut off the TV because it becomes too hard to bear. Or if my team is winning by a large margin I get the “kick them while they are down’ feeling.
Then I realize that the outcome of this game will not affect my life at all. I still have to get up the next morning and do what I do, regardless. Unless I bet on the game I have no financial interest in the outcome. Why would I bet on something that I have no control over? I don’t get it?
So I want to know why I am feeling this way? If I have no control over the outcome. If the outcome can’t possibly affect my life as I know it. Why do I feel this way?
“I am never upset for the reason I think.” That is all I have to know, now.
Eventually I will understand that this applies to everything. But why rush it? So I begin noticing the obvious and allow it to work from there. This is only lesson 5, after all.
