I Googled, “Quantify an understanding” and I got:
How We Measure Learning:
Our web-based system for evaluating and analyzing learning has the capabilities you need to thoroughly examine the impact of your educational programs and determine your return on learning investment.
That thought surfaced this morning as I was doing the lesson. So naturally I had to quantify it. I’m thinking that you must have felt it, too. Right?
I have to say that it has been an interesting week. How could it not be? I’ve explained my foray into what I described as another world. I’ve noticed the fear associated with this apparent change. Yes, it all is fear regardless of how it seems to manifest. The feeling that I have to control. The feeling that I have to change to survive in this “new world.” The fact that I perceive differences and feel a need to control or adapt to those differences is a manifestation of fear. Feeling a need to explain how I feel is a manifestation of fear, regardless of feeling that I can or not.
I feel a need to understand something. I feel a need to understand why or how. I can ramble on about the underlying metaphysics of this feeling, but why?
This is a weekend of celebration. It is a weekend in which I am involved in celebrations of a society that seemingly has come to terms with certain differences with an acknowledgement that there is much more work to do. Indeed there is. As long as those differences are apparent there is much work to do. There is also a need to quantify progress. We celebrate the acknowledgement of a change in perception, collectively.
I have found myself directly involved in celebrations that I hadn’t planned to be involved in. I noticed many things, not about history, not about the will of a society to overcome differences, not about celebration of an achievement in world consciousness but changes that I noticed in my thoughts or perceptions. I sit here grappling with this thought because it represents a change or, in this case I am viewing it as an improvement in the way I see. And I am sitting here attempting to quantify these apparent changes. Haven’t I mentioned the futility of attempting to do this in this blog many times?
The only difference was that I spent the weekend noticing what I was thinking rather then trying to figure out what everyone else was thinking. More precisely trying to understand what, why and how.
So I experienced an impromptu weekend. I write about it as if it was different then any other weekend. Only in that I accepted it to be as such. During two events I was asked to speak to a large number of people in the audience. At the first event I was given notice as I entered that I was expected to speak. 100 people, more or less. At the second I was just called up to the podium. How impromptu is that! So what did I do? I spoke. What else would I do? If differences are apparent then, at both events, I was different. Was there fear. Actually there was an understanding that I can’t quantify.
What did I say? I really don’t know. What I didn’t say was that I could understand. How could I possibly understand how, why or what anyone feels? I knew that I could only understand without trying to quantify that understanding. So I said what I said. I was amazed at how strong that feeling of understanding was. At the second I did remark that whatever situation I found myself in, no matter how different it seemed that all I could do was to proceed with the understanding that it was the perfect situation for me at that moment. How can it not be?
I have been asked what it felt like to be “put on the spot?” I have been asked what I “got” out of the experience. All I have been able to say was that I learned a lot. But I can’t really say that there was learning involved. I saw clearly the futility in trying to understand what, how or why someone else thought or felt. I saw clearly the futility in trying to understand what, how or why I thought or felt. It was clear to me that all I could do was to understand and in that understanding I was doing everything. Now I notice that I want to quantify that statement and I can’t.
Can you hear me? I’m betting that you can.
January 20, 2009 at 10:21 am |
Al, I just wanted to quantify my understanding about the hot tub. Its about having the awareness of myself being in the hot tub, and that not only myself and you are in it- everyone is in it already- if we extend the analogy of eternity we were discussing. It ’s like in the last judgment, when everyone will finally decide for the hot tub. I’m sure there are many who are like me and thought they were outside freezing and alone, and they will be sooooo glad to realize that at no time has anyone been separated from God. Because God’s creations are eternal, therefore it has always been there. One gigantic hot tub. You were right to holler across to me to get my attention, and you told me of the anxiety I was feeling by thinking that I was somehow outside of it.
Thanks for the reminder to be in my right mind.
I heard you were celebrating, and I wondered what the occassion was, and then I realized again just how dense I can be- that there is no need for an occassion to celebrate- its just naturally outflowing because of what you are and have…and here again, I am already in the party too, even though I feel like I just got here.
January 21, 2009 at 8:18 am |
Jeff. I was trying to make the point that I can’t choose to see. I can only choose not to see. Or maybe it’s to not see? The vision of the hot tub just followed and I thought it was a great analogy. So I wrote about it. Actually it is me choosing to see you choosing not to see. So, I notice myself thinking, “Will this ever end?” Yes, when I get my shit together. I’m sorry that you have to wait. Chuckle.
I was noticing others celebrating. Same thing? We celebrate change or we celebrate the anniversary of change all the while understanding that there is nothing to change. Be patient, I’ll get it some day.